House Moving Therapy by Mila Petrova - REVIEW
A review by Victoria Walsh
House Moving Therapy by Mila Petrova is not a book about house clearance or furniture removal, house swapping or home flipping; it’s a mixture of ‘how too’ and a self-help book, combined with autobiography beautifully written in the author's unique style, reminiscent of Nora Ephron meets Marie Kondo combined with Brené Brown. Petrova views moving as a powerful catalyst for change, personal transformation and healing. The book has some useful logistics mixed with quite a lot of tears, delving into the emotions of moving home (in several different scenarios and not always easy ones) to look at the psychology of uprooting.
Petrova offers several tips to make life easier. The book's entire premise is to act as your moving coach, emotional therapist, and nonjudgmental friend, helping you mentally and physically understand the whys and wherefores of the moving process. It is instrumental if you’re moving because you have to rather than because you want to. Petrova is an excellent friend, but what she doesn’t say soon enough is that the more time you allow yourself, the better. Actually, she does say this, but not until you’re a quarter of the way into the book, at which time you’re surrounded by impending doom and a hefty dose of existential dread.
The book reminds us that mundane tasks can be humdrum, but they can also be exciting, and if you’re a person who welcomes change, you might not need so much handholding. Petrova sees moving as a reflection of inner shifts, almost like a hermit crab. As a hermit crab grows, it must find larger shells to accommodate its body. A hermit crab will leave their old shell and search for a new, bigger, better home; this is not social climbing but a crucial part of their life cycle. The decluttering, packing and relocating process replicates the letting go process and embraces the here and now while moving forward. Petrova is saying, ‘BE MORE CRAB!’
Petrova is heavy on emotional processing, mindfulness and presence to help you understand the anxiety, grief, and anticipation attachment to the old home and to process the feelings of excitement that may or may not leave you suffering from a guilt hangover. Petrova is keen to incorporate rituals and ceremonies into the moving process, helping to create closure with the old home, set intentions for the new one, and facilitate a smooth transition, or at least that’s the plan.
I loved the fresh eyes analogy; this is an excellent general tip for change. Get someone else's eyes on your problem. How often have we been in someone's home and thought, ‘Why on earth are they keeping that broken leprechaun?’ No? Just me, then! You get the picture; it’s easier for a person who is not attached to declutter your house pre-move (that’s a reality TV program, right there). While you might not know Stacy Solomon, you know a cold-hearted, uber-critical friend who will do this for you for free, I’m sure.
Petrova is big on lessons; she will teach you how to be better, think better and do better (if you let her). There are lots of practical help and solutions wrapped up in different ways of looking at age-old problems, such as cancelling your broadband without allowing the agent to keep you on the phone for 30 minutes and making you repeat your reason for leaving six times. Petrova is practical but also empathetic and compassionate, understanding all the emotions of moving home (she’s moved 19 times, so she knows a thing or two).
To make the concepts relatable, Petrova includes anecdotes and personal stories written in a relatable narrative that’s easy to understand and put into practice. She illustrates the transformative potential of moving to even the most grief-stricken relocator. Petrova is a house-moving ninja that aims to guide readers through the moving process in a way that helps them feel in control and able to harness the experience for personal growth (even if they don’t realise or appreciate it in that moment).
Like Ephron and her neck (I Feel Bad About My Neck - 2006) in the posh bath oil analogy, Petrova is all about not saving things for best, living for now, using your stuff (but not wasting things) and enjoying the moment but unlike Ephron's neck, which stubbornly refused to cooperate with the ‘enjoy the moment’ philosophy, Petrova's ‘Home Therapy’ practically screams at you to use that fancy hand soap, light that expensive candle, and damn well eat off the good china. I think she would probably say, what are you waiting for, your own funeral?
Life is not about some manicured, Instagram-perfect existence, either. It's about recognising the small, tactile joys in the everyday. Like how the clean linen feels against your skin or how the light catches a crystal glass (especially when it’s full of good wine). You know, the stuff you usually reserve for ‘special occasions’ that, in the end, never seem special enough. She would likely scoff at ‘saving’ anything, especially happiness. Because, frankly, in a world where necks and time betray us with equal enthusiasm, who has the luxury of waiting or mourning more than is necessary?
So, what’s the synopsis? It’s okay to buy new bedsheets. Shampoo can unblock toilets, and there are seven pillars for easy relocation. Or was it seven pillows? I will go with the pillows for now, but I haven’t moved in 20 years, so what do I know?
